Anthony Weiner's Penis is Ruining Foreign Policy

Jake and I were watching the news this morning when he had the horrible realization that Anthony Weiner's penis is ruining sound, moderate foreign policy.  Weiner-gate, while fabulous for late-night jokes, pun-filled headlines and double entendre, is turning out to be terrible for politics.  It was bad enough when the whole thing was just straight up embarrassing and distracting.  First it was denials and claims that he got hacked, then came the tearful apology, then came the twitter conversations with underage girls, then the pics taken in the Congressional gym, then the realization his wife was pregnant and then finally, the holy grail of good-god-just-resign-already the iphone photo of his penis.  Now, just when you might have hoped the whole thing was behind us, the penis shot seen round the world is having a ripple effect on foreign policy. 

 

Subsequent to Weiner's resignation was the dreaded special election.  Specials, as they're known in political shorthand, are notorious for low turnout.  Except you know who always turns out?  The Jews.  You don't become a powerful minority by sitting on your ass on election day.  Weiner's district has a large Jewish population and, more specifically, a large Orthodox Jewish population.  So while you might say the Democrat lost because of the economy or a weak campaign, you can't deny the fact that he also lost because of Israel.  How could a Democratic candidate lose because of Israel when he himself is a pro-Israel Jew?  Because it wasn't about the positions of the candidates in the race, it was about Obama and sending him a message about his moderate stance towards Israel. 

 

And you know what?  It worked.  The New York Times reported that after the election Obama aides were scrambling to create multi-page talking points about the president's record with Israel.  A couple weeks later, the Leader of the Free World is on television telling Palestinians not to press too hard for U.N. recognition of statehood.  All because the Congressman from the 9th district couldn't keep it in his pants.  If it hadn't been for Weiner-gate and the subsequent surprise results of the special we wouldn't all be freaking out about losing the 2012 election because of the Jewish vote, we'd just be freaking out about the 2012 election for every other reason in the world. 

 

So add it to the list of apologies Weiner had to make: Sorry Chuck for letting you down after you made me your protege; sorry Huma for betraying you while you were carrying my baby; and sorry Palestinians for squashing your dreams of peace and statehood.