This time of year your social media feeds are probably full of people's holiday cheer, and it may be making you sick. That's okay; you're not a bad person. In fact, studies show, Facebook is bad for you.
Before I even read about this study, I was noticing that Facebook was not bringing out my best self. Perusing Facebook made me feel at times jealous, but also superior. Whenever I would post anything, I would constantly check to see how many "likes" it got. It was a big game of comparison: who can best edit their life online to make it seem as enviable as possible. I knew it wasn't reality, but it was damaging nonetheless. While discussing this phenomenon with a friend, I made a spur of the moment decision to take a break from Facebook and pledged not to check it for one week.
The very next morning I logged on. Out of habit. Actually, to figure out what the free cupcake of the day was at Georgetown Cupcake. But I almost immediately realized what I had done and logged off. Over the course of the week I got notices that I had been tagged in photos and statuses and it was extremely hard not to check them. What if I looked fat in that photo and I needed to untag it? What will so and so think if I don't "like" the photo of the two of us she posted? I felt compelled to curate my life, and anxious about the consequences of not doing so.
I admittedly did use Facebook one other time during that week for a very practical purpose. I was making a photo book of our family vacation as a gift for my parents and my sister didn't want to send over all her pictures so she told me to pick them from Facebook. I made a point not to look at the newsfeed, and went directly to her page for the agreed upon purpose and nothing else.
Facebook is a tool, and it can be a useful one. I reconnected with my college roommate for a surprisingly familiar and friendly lunch once. I've reached out to old colleagues to help connect them to jobs. Some day it will be the easiest way to contact former professors about recommendations. But for the most part, it's a black hole of narcissism and low self-esteem (oh how they go hand in hand!)
I wouldn't say I was "happier" for the week I went Facebook free, but there was a definite absence of bad feelings. Now I've lifted my ban on Facebook, but I do interact with it differently. I try not to aimlessly scroll the newsfeed; when I go on, I do so with a purpose.
This article on the motivations behind Facebook statuses made me think harder before I post something myself. Does anyone actually care about this? Why do I want to post this? Is there someone else I can tell instead? As a result, no one saw would-be statuses like "Enjoying a beautiful day on the North Shore - with Jake" or "Suddenly deciding to be a baseball fan during the World Series is not doing good things for my sleep." I wanted to show off my fun life (and loving relationship); I wanted to be a part of a group (Red Sox fans). I wanted to craft a life I wanted to live. But it turns out, you do that by living it, not by posting about it on Facebook.
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