Mindy, Jess, and Juliette - Television Takes on Feminism with Mixed Results

If you read this blog, or have spoken to me ever, you know I watch a lot of TV.  And I'm a feminist.

A few of my favorite shows, with awesome female-led casts, have all taken on some interesting issues of late, some with more concerning outcomes than others.  I love seeing these story lines, even when they're problematic, because they're great fodder for lunchtime conversations with my feminist coworkers.  Which probably means they're great fodder for other people's conversations and we need to be having more conversations about these things.

I generally find Jess' character on New Girl to be obnoxiously one-dimensional, but in the October 7th episode, "Micro," she took on her male friends for objectifying women and judging them based on their looks.  She then shows herself to be a hypocrite by immediately agreeing to date a disarmingly handsome man she meets at the bar who turns out to be a horrible human being (with a micro-penis no less).  Funny, irreverent, feminist.

In contrast, I tend to feel that The Mindy Project, with smart and genuinely funny Mindy Kaling at the helm, is a great portrayal of complex womanhood.  She's a badass OB/GYN and also a serial dater and rom-com watcher.  Except in "I Slipped," airing right after the aforementioned New Girl episode, which begins with Mindy's boyfriend "accidentally" engaging in anal sex with her, despite her protestations ("That doesn't go there Danny!").  We later learn he did it on purpose because he wanted to try it, but I guess was embarrassed to ask her about it.  Yea friends, that's called rape.  If you want to try something with a partner and you're not sure they'd like it or want it, or even if you feel reasonably sure they would, you have to ASK.  And they have to AGREE.  This is called consent and without it, sex is rape.

To  make things worse, Mindy feels badly about not being sexually adventurous so she uses alcohol and drugs to loosen herself up so she can engage in the act.  So much about this is wrong.  And yet it's all just portrayed as hilarious hi-jinks.

Then on the October 8th episode of Nashville, "I Can't Get Over You To Save My Life," we watch Juliette go to an abortion clinic.  Presumably, her pregnancy is the result of the time she cheated on her boyfriend and had unprotected sex with her sleazy former boss.  Then, thanks to mandatory biased counseling, she - gasp! - changes her mind.  This counseling, often full of scientifically inaccurate information, is intended to shame women and discourage them from choosing abortion.  This story line reinforces the false idea that these restrictions are based on what is best for women, rather than an unabashed attempt to impose a certain set of beliefs on doctors and patients.  This idea, that abortion restrictions support women's health and safety rather than risk it, undergirds a variety of increasingly harsh laws, including those in Texas that recently resulted in the closure of an additional 13 clinics in the state.  When, in fact, thanks to a new report, we now know that states with the highest number of abortion restrictions have the worst health outcomes for women in children.

Feminist Weddings FTW

A few weeks ago we had another couple over for a dinner party who also happen to be engaged.  We got to talking about our weddings and my friend mentioned a movement of brides wearing pants.  I knew exactly what she was talking about, the new feature on A Practical Wedding, my favorite wedding blog.  She said her other engaged friend had turned her on to it.  Similarly, I've convinced my co-worker wedding blogs are worthwhile by introducing her to it.  It's only fair since it was a former co-worker of mine who shared it with me. 

What kind of wedding blog attracts this much word of mouth enthusiasm from a bunch of lady law students and abortion rights activists?  A feminist one, of course.  Women whose life plans include changing the world are pretty choosy about their online wedding content.  And, it turns out, how they like to get married.

Some people say that "feminist wedding" is an oxymoron.  I've gotten a few sideways glances at my (quite sparkly) engagement ring.  And I've seen many turn up their noses at the word "wife." 

But what I think these reactions miss is that getting married isn't a tacit endorsement of the status quo.  More than ever I hear people, engaged and married people, saying things like "I never thought marriage was for me," or "I was so conflicted about marriage."  But usually these sentences are followed up with, "so then I..." and some explanation of how they did it differently so as to reclaim it for themselves and their partners.

People are not getting married thoughtlessly, as many a rude commenter who loves to bring up Kim Kardashian would have you believe.  Young people are engaging with the institution of marriage in a thoughtful and increasingly progressive way.  For us, getting married isn't signing on some misogynistic, heteronormative dotted line, it's a chance to rewrite the rules little by little to create a revolution. 

Some may still opt out, but all our choices are valid, a feminist principle in itself, and one presented beautifully by my friend (and now recent APW convert) Morgan Hopkins in her blog post on feminist marriage.  That's right, we're taking to the internet to edge out "best day of your life" and "it's YOUR BIG DAY" with some serious (and also pretty) feminist commentary on our weddings. 

So go ahead and pin those peony bouquets, pen that tear jerking ceremony, and embark on a feminist forever.  It's not a fairytale, we promise. 

Komen v. Planned Parenthood - WE WIN!

We won! We won! We won!  Sometimes I feel like we never win, but when Susan G. Komen announced they were reversing their decision to de-fund Planned Parenthood I felt like doing a victory dance.  A lot of times it feels like conservative forces are way better at raising money, writing letters, and getting their voices heard.  They seem like a better organized, more homogeneous group and us liberals with our big tent just never seem to shout with the same voice (hello Occupy!).  But thank you social media, because boy did we SHOUT!  We took over the internet shouting!

We did it with humor like in this cartoon, or in this Colbert clip.  We did it with our electronic signatures when 250,000 signed the MoveOn.org petition.  We did it with our wallets when Planned Parenthood raised $400,000 in 24 hours following the announcement.  Have I mentioned, WE DID IT!

Despite the not intended to be factual statements you may have heard from Sen. Kyl, Planned Parenthood is a full-service, affordable, accessible reproductive health organization.  I was saddened by Komen's decision to be single minded and political in its ideological pursuit rather than putting women first.  (If you're having doubts about the motives of this move, check out this screen shot of what Komen VP Karen Handel re-tweeted during the debacle).  

Komen should be about women's health and about providing women with access to the best health care possible.  And for many women (1 out of every 5 women actually) that means using Planned Parenthood for health care.  To read some of these women's stories, visit this wonderful Tumblr.  And remember, sometimes the good guys do win.  

The Woman-Hating Right

Don't let a female Vice Presidential candidate fool you - the Right holds onto base sexist views, both men and women alike.  Watch the video below because no one says it better or funnier than Steven Colbert.

Colbert on Women's Health

What he doesn't say explicitly is that these views are based on an extremely sexist view of women.  What the commentators are saying is: women can't be trusted.  We can't trust them to make smart decisions, even when those decisions are about their own bodies.

They are also saying that women's health is not important, in fact, it is not even part of healthcare.  Birth control, breast feeding - these are not healthcare, they're the frivolous privileges of women.  Because you know, abuse counseling is to pedicures as...no it just doesn't work.

I would say the whole thing is hypocritical - that the government shouldn't get involved with women's reproductive health to give them birth control, only to tell them they can't have an abortion if they have an unplanned pregnancy.  But it's not hypocritical because the same thinking underlines both positions: women can't be trusted.