DIY Wedding Flowers - No Experience Required

I recently had the pleasure of attending a gorgeous wedding in the North Carolina mountains.  Many of the bride and groom's friends stayed together in the same house, at the location of the wedding.  Over the course of a weekend we all got to know each other, cook and eat meals together, and be a part of throwing a really rad party for our friends.

I've decided I'm kind of the best non-bridesmaid bridesmaid ever.  I've helped friends try on wedding dresses, organized bachelorette parties, and now created centerpieces, all without having to don a matching dress and heels.  And it's actually pretty great.

I've plunked grocery store bouquets into vases before, but that's about all the experience I brought to this latest adventure.  The bride and groom ordered buckets of flowers from a local farm.  While it's awesome to source locally, if you don't have that option you always have the internet.  Blooms by the Box also offers ready-made packages of flowers and greenery that take out much of the guess work. Having good material to work with is the first step in making beautiful arrangements.  Lucky for us, flowers are just darn pretty.

The next key is to have a cool place to store the flowers after you arrange them.  The top of a mountain in autumn is a good option, though not universally available.  To me this, and not skill or experience, is usually the biggest obstacle to DIY flowers.

To start, I gathered several larger blooms to anchor the centerpiece.  Then I added smaller flowers and more textured flowers at slightly different heights and filled in with greenery.  I usually gathered things in my hand first, and then cut stems to the appropriate height and added them to vases once I had the sense that what I had grabbed was sufficient.  Pretty much whenever a bridesmaid would hold up a bunch of flowers and say, "Is this missing something?"  I'd just suggest more greenery.  It gives everything a full, sophisticated, and complete look.

If you have a vase with a wide opening you can try something I saw on Pinterest that I confirmed actually works.  Use masking tape to make a grid over the opening.  This allows you to place the flowers without them all falling into the center of the bowl or vase.  The same rules about variety, heights, and greenery apply.  My attempt turned into my favorite arrangement of the night.

The Battle for Millennial Votes

A lot has been said about the impact of changing demographics on elections in this country.  But if a picture is worth 1,000 words, these videos are worth about a bajillion.

Here, the GOP appeals to lady voters at a level we can understand - wedding dresses.  They finally get me.  This is not to say that I don't thoroughly love the show parodied here.  Just that I don't relate to politics and issues that affect my life through a lens of reality television.  Assuming so is pretty insulting.

Then there's this video.  Which, I can testify as a millennial, is awesome.  And went almost immediately viral.  And not in the, OMG look at what ridiculously embarrassing/offensive thing Rick Perry just said kind of viral.

The comments on the video are, not unexpectedly, pretty racist, classist, sexist, and generally every other kind of hateful "ist" you can think of.  I mean, it's the internet comments, people.  I guess human rights kind of freak some people out.

So what are we to think then?  Are we really moving forward?  As Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. said, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.  I can only hope that my generation's hands and hearts will keep on bending it.  And in the meantime, there are these videos to make you groan/smile.  Oh yea, and don't forget to vote!

Mindy, Jess, and Juliette - Television Takes on Feminism with Mixed Results

If you read this blog, or have spoken to me ever, you know I watch a lot of TV.  And I'm a feminist.

A few of my favorite shows, with awesome female-led casts, have all taken on some interesting issues of late, some with more concerning outcomes than others.  I love seeing these story lines, even when they're problematic, because they're great fodder for lunchtime conversations with my feminist coworkers.  Which probably means they're great fodder for other people's conversations and we need to be having more conversations about these things.

I generally find Jess' character on New Girl to be obnoxiously one-dimensional, but in the October 7th episode, "Micro," she took on her male friends for objectifying women and judging them based on their looks.  She then shows herself to be a hypocrite by immediately agreeing to date a disarmingly handsome man she meets at the bar who turns out to be a horrible human being (with a micro-penis no less).  Funny, irreverent, feminist.

In contrast, I tend to feel that The Mindy Project, with smart and genuinely funny Mindy Kaling at the helm, is a great portrayal of complex womanhood.  She's a badass OB/GYN and also a serial dater and rom-com watcher.  Except in "I Slipped," airing right after the aforementioned New Girl episode, which begins with Mindy's boyfriend "accidentally" engaging in anal sex with her, despite her protestations ("That doesn't go there Danny!").  We later learn he did it on purpose because he wanted to try it, but I guess was embarrassed to ask her about it.  Yea friends, that's called rape.  If you want to try something with a partner and you're not sure they'd like it or want it, or even if you feel reasonably sure they would, you have to ASK.  And they have to AGREE.  This is called consent and without it, sex is rape.

To  make things worse, Mindy feels badly about not being sexually adventurous so she uses alcohol and drugs to loosen herself up so she can engage in the act.  So much about this is wrong.  And yet it's all just portrayed as hilarious hi-jinks.

Then on the October 8th episode of Nashville, "I Can't Get Over You To Save My Life," we watch Juliette go to an abortion clinic.  Presumably, her pregnancy is the result of the time she cheated on her boyfriend and had unprotected sex with her sleazy former boss.  Then, thanks to mandatory biased counseling, she - gasp! - changes her mind.  This counseling, often full of scientifically inaccurate information, is intended to shame women and discourage them from choosing abortion.  This story line reinforces the false idea that these restrictions are based on what is best for women, rather than an unabashed attempt to impose a certain set of beliefs on doctors and patients.  This idea, that abortion restrictions support women's health and safety rather than risk it, undergirds a variety of increasingly harsh laws, including those in Texas that recently resulted in the closure of an additional 13 clinics in the state.  When, in fact, thanks to a new report, we now know that states with the highest number of abortion restrictions have the worst health outcomes for women in children.

Broadway, Not Just for Mama Mia and Cats Anymore

As I was walking around the neighborhood near my office recently, I came across the Broadway plazas - a stretch of Broadway between 35th and 41st where there are extra pedestrian and seating areas.  One thing about New Yorkers is that they're able to make the most out of small spaces.  The city itself is the same - so much art and food and open space, crammed into the medians of one of the city's busiest streets.

Until October 17th, you can enjoy a variety food options, from arepas to cupcakes, that will make you want to turn on your heels away from the long lines and overpriced salads of Chop't. Thanks to UrbanSpace and the Garment District Alliance, you can savor this worldly fare in the shadows of The Sentinels, an imposing art exhibition from Chakaia Booker.  Her dark, almost leather-like sculptures contrast with the bright umbrellas and lush florals that provide an oasis for Midtown workers.

And on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays through the end of the month you can also check out the Broadway French Market for everything from apples, to pickles, and knitted sweaters.  And all these cozy, cultural offerings are available within a few blocks of the glare of Times Square.

Finding the Bagels, At Long Last

Since moving to New York, I've had two totally random run-ins with Vassar alums I sort of know.  Both of whom, upon hearing where we live (Kips Bay), have extolled the virtues of Ess-a-Bagel.  While the Vassar run-ins are commonplace - where do hipsters from a liberal arts college in the Hudson Valley flock?  The two recommendations, among the hundreds of bagel places, struck me as more than mere coincidence.

So we went to check it out.  And what we got was a bagel as big as our heads in a bakery that managed to be, in true New York fashion, both pretentious and no-nonsense.  I was curtly informed that they do not toast their bagels.  I was quickly handed two bagels, meticulously wrapped in origami-like white paper.

When we got home and unwrapped our bounty we saw that the bagels were about one and a half times the thickness of a regular bagel and contained approximately a quarter of a pound of cream cheese.  Jake noted that, even without being toasted, they managed to have the crunchy outside and chewy inside bagel purveyors in Boston seemed unable to achieve.  I noted, at two o'clock that same day, that I still wasn't hungry.

I was so excited to tear into these bagels that I forgot to take a bagel selfie.  Shameful.  So here are some so not as good Google image results to give you a sense of the bagel glory.

Back in the New York Groove

We live in New York again!  And I found the bagels!  More on that later.

I've actually been back in New York City for a little over a month now.  And yes, it's taken me this long to get back on the blog.  It's taken some processing.  Anyone who knows me knows I'm not too good at transitions.

In that month, I've decided that one of New York City's most basic truths is that it's a city of contradictions.  A Gemini like me.

When I got here I told Jake that I felt as though New York was constantly sending me two different messages: "Welcome to the greatest city in the world!  Oh, and fuck you."

Then I was watching Manhattan Love Story on DVR (more on that later, too) and the two central characters were trying to hail cabs while we were treated to their internal monologues - "Thanks, New York!" and "Thanks, New York."  It's a little hard to express their intonations with only punctuation and italics at my disposal, but I think you get the idea.

The truth, which I've kept secret thus far, is that sometimes New York disgusts me.  I wasn't supposed to feel that way.  It was supposed to be a magical homecoming to a city I loved deeply and unconditionally - no matter how much trash there is on the sidewalk.  But if there's another basic truth about New York City, it's that it's constantly changing.  Which means constant construction noise.  The point being, that there was never a chance for this to be a homecoming, because so much has changed.  In the city and in me.

Today I let myself do something that New Yorkers are all too often shamed out of doing - be unabashedly awed by my city.  Like, take out your smartphone and take pictures of the Empire State Building while other people are trying to cross the street unabashedly awed.

Both these feelings live together, and there's room for that here in New York - the greatest city on earth.  It's always struck me how many different worlds can be tucked onto one small island between Jersey and Connecticut.  My world is here now; this is my home.

And for those of you who didn't believe me, blurry photos of three New York City icons, all of which I get to take in every day on my walk to work (yes, I can WALK to work!)  They do literally no justice to the majesty and beauty of these buildings on a blue skied, fall morning, with the sun rising slowly but deliberately behind them.